Leadership: Love and Discipline, becoming one who Elevates

An article from “Smart Brief” outlined 5 leadership styles graphed by quadrants around the 2 axes of Discipline and Love.   Low Discipline/Low Love results in simple Managers, rather mediocre getter-done-ers.  Low Love/High Discipline gives you a Ruler, one who dictates and who holds closely both to rules and to positional authority.  Low Discipline/High Love results in a Pleaser, someone more concerned about being liked and being kind than about consequences and standards.  Moderate Love/Moderate Discipline, the Supporter, sits in the middle of the quad chart, a balanced approach with reasonable success with both projects and people.  But the author’s contention is that High Love/High Discipline is the leadership style which is most effective at achieving organizational success as well as creating loyal, productive, happy teams and individuals; these leaders Elevate others.  

Those reading the article are likely to remember various bosses throughout their careers and place them within the various quadrants of the chart:  the Pleaser who failed to hold people accountable and lost respect from followers, even though he was a nice guy….the Ruler who steam-rolled through with little regard to personal lives, family situations or team dynamics….the Manager who wasn’t terribly memorable but at least wasn’t terrible.    Even the Supporter who was all around a great boss, possibly one to emulate, but who seemed to fall short of greatness.  I know I put former bosses or other leaders I had heard about into each of these categories; I had specific memories associated with many of these people and their styles.  I’ve regularly said that I’ve been privileged to never have a bad boss, and that is true.  But I have had many Managers and a few Supporters, with only a few who truly Elevated those they led.  

The middle of that quad chart of Love and Discipline gives a line that flows through Manager and Supporter before getting to those who Elevate.  I think that line, that middle road, is a good place to hang out; it represents balance.  It could also represent mediocrity.  Managers don’t often become Commanders; Rulers do.  But those same Rulers may find themselves in trouble, with complaints filed about a “toxic work environment” or calls for “sensitivity training.”  On the other side of the horse, those who are Pleasers may find their aspirations to lead at higher levels frustrated; they may wonder why their hard work is not recognized with opportunities for greater responsibility, failing to see that their inability to hold people accountable stymies their success.  

But Managers can be grown into Supporters and ultimately into those who Elevate others.  Consider the normal professional growth we offer individuals—new college graduates, those newly employed in an industry or specific company. They usually start as Managers.  Some of them stay Managers, others are developed – and develop themselves – into Supporters.  I would argue that most professional development in the domains of management and leadership are aimed at growing Managers into Supporters.  Habits like giving regular, constructive feedback; having clear expectations; considering subordinates with a “whole person” construct; expecting and emulating work-life balance; consistently holding people accountable for failure; creating and demanding a respectful work environment:  each of these is a common professional development theme, and ones which keep a supervisor from falling off either side of the rails of Love and Discipline.  These also keep a Manager on a trajectory toward Supporter, and potentially toward becoming one who Elevates. 

When I first read this article, Proverbs 3: 11 – 12 came to my mind:

“My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline,
and do not resent his rebuke,
because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
as a father the son he delights in.”

And also Hebrews 12: 4 – 12

⁴ In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. ⁵ And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says,

“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,
    and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
⁶ because the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
    and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”

⁷ Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? ⁸ If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all. ⁹ Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live! ¹⁰ They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness. ¹¹ No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.

¹² Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees.

In both of these passages, we are reminded that God deals with all of us with both Love and Discipline.  His Love wants the very best for us; His Discipline is how He molds and shapes us into His holiness, for our good.  God is our Father, one who balances Love and Discipline perfectly and unfolds His good will and plans over our lifetime.  God’s Love of us, His Creation, which informs His Discipline of us is shaped by His desire to see each person saved through faith in Christ, and brought into His Kingdom to share eternity with Him.  God’s Love and Discipline come because He considers each of us as precious, as valuable here in time and into eternity; He showed the sacrificial nature of His Love through Christ’s atoning death; and He wants the best for us, the best according to His standard of holiness.  

I believe we can take these principles, these motivators, into our human interactions.  The people whom I lead have intrinsic value:  they are God’s children, members of His good creation, precious to Him and therefore to me.  This informs how I interact with them, with respect and consideration, with kindness and mercy, with a desire to see them achieve their highest potential.  It also informs my expectations in how each person interacts with others in teams and work centers.  God in Christ willingly died for the salvation of the world.  My interactions with my subordinates should also represent – within my human constraints—self-sacrifice.  I sacrifice my own pride, my own frustration, my own disappointment and potential desire to lash out; I sacrifice my desire to be liked, to be recognized, to be praised; I sacrifice for my subordinates my time, my energy, and my best efforts; I may sacrifice my own goals and aspirations for the good of others.  God wants the very best for His children, He has the highest of expectations; He expects holiness, absolute perfection. Through Christ we are declared perfect and holy; and through His Spirit He is making us holy day by day.  I don’t expect perfection from my subordinates, but I do have high expectations; I challenge people to grow, I push them out of their comfort zones; I provide clear expectations and hold people accountable.  And I forgive those who fail, I pick them up and help them to succeed in the future.

This is my path to being one who Elevates.  I take as my role model the Triune God of the Universe; Creator, Redeemer and Sanctifier.  I hold others in the highest esteem, valuing them and showing them the Love of God.  I hold others to the highest standards, wanting the very best from their potential and abilities as I show them the Discipline of God.  

God of Heaven and Earth, Triune God, Creator, Redeemer and Sanctifier – bless my work. Forgive my failings, my selfishness and disregard for others, my lapses in judgement as a result of fear or carelessness.  Bless my service to others to be perfectly balanced Love and Discipline.  Give me Your Wisdom.  Enable me to grow as a leader to be one who Elevates others, for their good and Your glory here in time and in eternity.  AMEN.