Bonhoeffer: Vows and Truthfulness

Beginning with Chapter 10, Bonhoeffer tackles in shorter sections the concepts of Matthew 5.  Chapter 10 is simply titled “Woman” and handles the subjects of adultery and divorce from Matthew 5: 27 – 32.  To be frank, I’m put off by the objectifying title of “Woman”, when the reality is, this chapter would have been just as appropriately—even more appropriately—titled “Marriage.”  He leads us into a discussion about whether or not Jesus’ command to cut out the eye or cut off the hand the leads to sin, should be taken literally.  “But the question is itself both wrong and wicked, and it does not admit of an answer.  If we decided not to take it literally, we should be evading the seriousness of the commandment, and if on the other hand we decided it was to be taken literally, we should at once reveal the absurdity of the Christian position, and thereby invalidate the commandment….We cannot evade the issue either way; we are placed in a position where there is no alternative but to obey.”  Bonhoeffer then concludes that the focus of the Christian should be on Christ, that our gaze should always be toward Him, and we will be kept from sin and preserved in purity.   

Bonhoeffer ties Jesus’ statements about marriage and divorce to 1 Corinthians 6: 12 – 20, wherein Paul declares that sexual sins are of particular damaging significance, in that they occur “against [ones] own body.”  All other sins occur outside of the body, but sexual sins have a unique significance.  Paul reminds us that our bodies are a “temple of the Holy Spirit” and that we “are not [our] own” but were bought with the price of Christ’s own blood and so we must honor God in and with our bodies.  We are members of Christ’s own body (1 Cor 6: 15).  According to Romans 6: 1 – 10, we have been united with Christ in our baptism; we are one with Him, dead to sin and united with Him ultimately in His resurrection.  By becoming Man, by bearing human flesh, Christ Jesus showed the value placed on our human bodies.  

There is an attitude—a very gnostic, a-Christian attitude—that anything done to or with the body is shallow and meaningless.  Even further, there is a contempt for the body as only a vessel, a shell, something to be abused like a rental car or a cheap suit.  The corollary for this notion is one that emphasizes “spiritual” and feelings, the inner person; as if the body and the spirit could be separated, and things done to the body that do not impact or reflect upon the spirit.  This section in Corinthians reminds us that our bodies and souls are intrinsically united; and just as we are united with Christ in our baptisms, we will be united—body and soul—with Him in His resurrection at the last day.  “Therefore honor God with your body.” (1 Cor 6: 20).  This includes specifically and uniquely honoring God with marriage and sexuality.  Bonhoeffer states that “…Christianity does not therefore depreciate marriage, it sanctifies it.”  The one flesh of man and woman is created and blessed by God, therefore it has great value and great potential for abuse.  

1)      When you read the command to cut off the hand that causes you to sin, do you take this as a completely figurative command?  Go through a mental exercise:  read this as a literal command in response to sexual temptation.  How does that accentuate the spiritual risk, the seriousness, of the sin?  

2)      Bonhoeffer says that “The disciple’s exclusive adherence to Christ therefore extends even to his married life.  Christian marriage is marked by discipline and self-denial. Christ is Lord even of marriage.”  How is this a different picture of marriage than the world paints—different expectations for self-satisfaction, for pleasure or for self-interest?

Chapter 11 is entitled “Truthfulness” and while Bonhoeffer makes no connections between the 2 chapters, one has occurred to me, and that is the notion of oath-taking which is discussed in Chapter 11 and the subject of marriage which is covered in Chapter 10.  In Chapter 11, Bonhoeffer says “…an oath can only be sworn where all its implications are first made clear beyond all doubt.  Secondly, a distinction must be drawn between oaths which apply to past or present facts, which are known, and oaths which pledge us with reference to the future….since he is never lord of his own future, he will always be extremely cautious about giving a pledge….if his own future is outside of his control, how much more is the future of the authority which demands the oath of allegiance!”

As a discussion on oaths and lies, Bonhoeffer offer’s wise counsel here—use caution when taking an oath regarding future obligations over which you have no control.  But tied to the discussion of marriage, we have a unique and binding oath which is “til death do us part” regardless of what circumstances intervene.  By Bonhoeffer’s logic, this is a foolish oath to take!  But the very marriage ceremony itself acknowledges the unknown—in sickness and in health—and we press on with that oath, surrounded by witnesses.  Our ability to honor that oath, to retain marital fidelity, is in God’s hands; He commands marriage and strengthens us to remain faithful in the many circumstances of life.  In a way, this is the oath that by exception proves the rule:  if you are taking an oath, be very certain that God is with you in that oath-taking, that you are acting in obedience.   Because marriage is commanded, we can be certain that God blesses the oath-taking of marriage.

Bonhoeffer states that the “existence of oaths is a proof that there are such a thing as lies”, which is an interesting and profound statement.  If no one lied, then there would be no reason for us to speak with an oath. Giving testimony in a court, signing a statement of observed events, swearing fealty to a government or to service—none of these would require an oath of there was no risk, no history of people lying, no reason to believe that people would be deceitful.  But people do bear false witness, people do lie, people do have impure motives.  Therefore oath-taking has become necessary.  Bonhoeffer’s point is that, for Christians, we should never lie or bear false witness or act out of impure motives and selfishness; therefore, taking an oath is superfluous, unnecessary.  As he says “Since they always speak the whole truth and nothing but the truth, there is no need for an oath, which would only throw doubt on the veracity of all of their other statements.”  As the scene in “Goonies” has Chunk, the chronic tall-tale-er swearing that this time he is telling the truth; it only highlights how untrustworthy his past stories were and how likely his current story is to be a fib. Or, to quote Shakespeare, “The lady doth protest too much, methinks.”  

I’m fascinated by the un-married coupling that is so prevalent, by the attitude of “marriage is just a ceremony” and the sense that true love doesn’t need a ceremony to validate it.  In a way, this is absolutely truth.  In a perfect world, we would all speak only truth always and a there would be no need for marriage vows to solidify the promises of fidelity made by lovers.  The marriage ceremony exists, with public vows, to protect us from each other and from our capricious hearts.  The function of marriage—as the foundation of civilization, as the safe-haven for child-rearing—is too important to be left up to fickle feelings of lust and twitterpation, but had to be solidified by vows.

Let your Yes be Yes and your No be No.  As Christians, we speak the truth; there is no need for oaths.  As Bonhoeffer says, “Complete truthfulness is only possible where sin has been uncovered and forgiven by Jesus.”  We have no need for duplicity and sidestepping.  We know that we are sinful, we have no need to hide this fact and save face.  How many lies revolve around preserving presences?  The pretense that I am kind (“did you really say that?!”), that I am excellent in all things (“how could you make that kind of mistake?”), that I am noble and selfless (“did you really do that?”)….the list goes on.  Lies, and oaths coupled with lies, only serve to highlight our sinfulness. 

 As Christians, we are already fully aware of our sinful, fallen nature.  But we don’t have to hide it by lying, we instead confess our failures to Christ who promises us forgiveness.  “Only those who are in a state of truthfulness through the confession of their sin to Jesus are not ashamed to tell the truth wherever it must be told.  The truthfulness which Jesus demands from His followers is the self-abnegation which does not hide sin.  Nothing is hidden, everything is brought forth to the light of day….When we know the cross we are no longer afraid of the truth.”  

1)      Consider the last time you told a lie—any kind of lie, even “a little white lie.”  What was the motivation?  Contrast that to Bonhoeffer’s statements about nothing needing to be hidden because of our forgiveness in Christ.

2)      What vows or oaths have you taken—formally or informally.  What is the implication of those vows?  Have you taken vows that set you opposed to God’s will, or oaths that only contrast past untruthfulness? 

3)      If you are married, meditate on the solemn and binding nature of your marriage vows.  Consider the reason for those vows and the fact that they were taken before God.  Prayerfully request strength to honor all of your oaths.

4)      As Bonhoeffer reminds us, we are forgiven by the blood of Christ Jesus.  No sins need to be hidden by lies, we have no false pretense of perfection to maintain by deceit.  Confess your sins and weaknesses to God, and pray for strength to participate in all of your human relationships with humility, honesty and transparency.