A Beginning

I used to feel guilty whenever anyone would recommend a book on leadership or management:  I just don't read them.  I read a lot, just not stuff about how to manage an organization or lead people or become more self-actualized, or a better fill-in-the-blank.  For someone in a leadership position of increasingly complex responsibilities and scope of impact, I felt this was a big flaw - a failure to develop myself intentionally.  The more I thought about this, the more I realized what I really believed - that God was equipping me as a leader through His word and Spirit.  This blog represents my own personal Bible studies or other musings inspired by secular concepts, particularly in the realm of leadership, management, healthcare and personal growth.  I truly believe the words of 2 Peter 1: 3, that "His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness."  My abilities as a leader, my personal growth and development, rest on God's wisdom revealed in scripture.  As the Berean's were praised for, I will test all things and search the scriptures for truth.  This blog represents that searching and testing.

The older and more experienced I get, the more I feel that I am not an expert at much of anything.  I work in healthcare and manage an organization of about 60 people, with a few other responsibilities layered on top of that.  I rely heavily upon the people who work for and with me to keep the mission moving, do the daily dailiness, keep me informed and to bring me the hard questions to answer and the hard decisions to make.  It’s those hard decisions that give me the title of leader.  People whom I respect have praised my leadership ability, and those two facts—knowing the buck stops with me, and that I have done well so far—inspire me to want to do only the very best.  But those same thoughts also stress me out and make me wonder “When am I going to cap out, tap out and be out of my league?”  I know the Peter principle, the concept of being promoted to the point of incompetence; it’s this concept that keeps management and leadership book publishers in business, as frantic executives and desperate managers try to stay one step ahead of failure.  

It is tempting for me to jump onto that bright and shiny carousel of self help which goes ‘round and ‘round, promising success, personal growth, fulfillment and possibly candy.  Indeed I have read some Covey and books about continuous process improvement and high reliability organizations.  I’ve been to a few leadership seminars and listened to a few TED talks.  But in every book or every speech, I reach a point where the mantras sound hollow and the guidance disingenuous, even deceitful.  Ultimately, this is human wisdom.  Human wisdom will only carry me to a certain point; that point will probably be to the point of a promotion to incompetence.  But I believe that I exist not just to be maximally successful and self-actualized.  I believe that I am placed in my position as a leader is to give God glory, further His kingdom, and care for His people and the sheep of His pasture.  

Because I believe that my work—secular and worldly as it is—is in service to God, I believe that He will sustain and guide me.  Only when I fail to lean on Him, to earnestly seek for His wisdom and ways, that I risk catastrophic failure—that sinking feeling where the ground stops and the only thing left is spinning legs, toppling balance and the knowledge that you took one step too far.  Will I be successful in all things, always make the wisest decisions, consistently represent myself as a Godly leader?  No, I don’t think so.  I know that it is hubris of the wildest type to think my abilities are infallible just because my human flesh relies upon the divine:  I’m still a sinner, still “prone to wander, Lord I feel it”, still weak and weary by the end of every workweek.  But the same God who gives the light of His wisdom for my path gives me forgiveness in Christ.  By His grace I am renewed with strength like eagles, and I can pick myself up and try again.  

My plan for this blog is as a place to record the spiritual, scriptural underpinnings of my leadership journey.  It’s going to be a bit eclectic, representing writings on whatever topic—in whatever medium—strikes my fancy.  I’ve got stuff I’ve already written which I plan to polish off and place in this setting in the hopes it will do someone else some good, and as a way of encouraging myself to keep reflecting, keep reading, keep growing, keep praying and earnestly striving for the right.  A good portion of the purpose of this blog is to be a creative outlet for my own thoughts.  Fair warning:  I write atrocious run-on sentences and I use commas indiscriminately, like glitter.  This is also my first attempt at a blog, so we’ll see where this goes.